8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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