Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
