Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
