whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I will pee on everything he values.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
