You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize