After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
