; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
