He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
