Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
