he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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