no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
