Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
two words: eviction party
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
