apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize