Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
