White coat. Heels.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
