if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize