sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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