I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
