I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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