I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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