You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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