Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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