i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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