nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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