pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize