Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What drink are we having for lunch?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
