I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
