so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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