Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
