That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
