No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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