You just made me feel so damn special
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
