A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
