the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
