so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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