accomplished twins. life is a go
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
