we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
