Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
