I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize