I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
