You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
