McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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