he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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