people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Even my vagina gasped.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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