I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
