woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
