doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
