I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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