How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
