Swine flu. Run for my life!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
