Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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