It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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