if you like me you must not know who I am
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize