Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
