my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
