you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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