you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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