I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
