My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize