This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
