i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
