My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The beer is more important than you right now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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