a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
