Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Its about making memories worth repressing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
