how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize