"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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