It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
