In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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