All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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