Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize