How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
